Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
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