Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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