I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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