i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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