Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
