There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
