Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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