I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
3 2 1 whiskey
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
