Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
