Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Randomize