I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
