you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
