sorry about calling you the devil all night.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
