I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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