I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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