why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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