He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I need a burrito and a hug.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
