the new term for farting is butt boxing.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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