oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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