honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
