At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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