he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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