My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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