dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it