I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys