Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?