I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?