Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.