So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo