Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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