Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
