you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
