Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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