Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
