I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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