yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
