dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
