Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
