what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
