remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
