i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
