What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
