Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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