So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
