I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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