dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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