new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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