I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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