ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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