She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
