The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Randomize
