My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Randomize
