remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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