She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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