I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
