Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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