Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
