BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
