Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize