when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She even gives head with a lisp.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
