Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
