My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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